My 5 year old hasn't gone in 4 days and I'm losing my mind a little
Okay so I know four days isn't technically an emergency but it feels like one when you're watching your kid walk around holding her stomach and refusing to sit on the toilet. She went through a phase like this around age 3 and we got through it but I honestly can't remember how. Right now she's eating pretty normally, maybe a little less fruit than usual because I haven't had a chance to go grocery shopping. She's drinking water. She's going to school, coming home, doing homework, whatever. Just not going. I've tried the usual, warm bath before bed, prunes at snack time, making sure she's not just holding it because she's scared. She says it doesn't hurt but her face when she walks says otherwise. I'm not panicking but I am very tired and would love to hear what other people do in the stuck phase before it becomes an actual problem. Affordable and not complicated please, I do not have the bandwidth for a ten step protocol right now.
Replies · 8
four days is my personal anxiety threshold too, something about that number just hits different. no real advice yet but following because my 2 year old just came out of a five day stretch and I am still recovering emotionally.
The "her face says otherwise" thing is SO real. My twins do the same thing, completely deny any discomfort while walking like tiny little penguins. One thing that genuinely helped us during a stuck stretch was adding ground flaxseed to oatmeal. Like half a spoonful stirred in, they don't even taste it. My daughter took to it fine, my son acted like I'd poisoned him, so results may vary. Also pears over prunes if she'll eat them, something about the texture being less of a fight at that age. Hope she goes tonight.
tiny little penguins is exactly it. I actually laughed out loud. She has been doing the full stiff-legged shuffle since yesterday afternoon. We have oatmeal every morning so the flaxseed thing is easy, I can do that. Do you just get it from a regular grocery store? I don't want to end up on some health food rabbit hole.
Yes totally normal grocery store, usually near the oats or the "natural" aisle. Not expensive at all. The bag lasts forever because you use so little each time.
Four days is genuinely hard to sit with, especially when you can see them uncomfortable but can't just fix it. You're not overreacting at all. My oldest went through a real stuck phase around 5 too, and one thing I hadn't expected was how much routine timing mattered. We started making sure she sat on the toilet about 20 minutes after breakfast, not with pressure to go, just as a habit. Apparently the body has a bit of a natural wave of movement after eating and if they're just sitting calmly it sometimes helps things along. Took a couple of weeks to really click but it became second nature eventually. The warm bath you're already doing is good. Movement helps too, even just playing outside or a walk after dinner. If she's still not going after another day or two and seems to be in real discomfort it's worth a quick call to her pediatrician just to check in. Not because four days is a crisis but just so you have a plan. Every kid is different and it helps to have someone who knows her in the loop.
The 20 minutes after breakfast thing is interesting. We usually rush out the door so she doesn't really have quiet toilet time in the morning at all. I wonder if that's part of it. I'm going to try setting the alarm 15 minutes earlier this week and see if just giving her that space makes any difference. No pressure, just time.
I never thought about the after-breakfast timing thing. My first kid just kind of went whenever and it worked fine so I never paid attention. This second one has completely rearranged everything I thought I knew about babies and their digestion. Going to try this too.
Also just want to say, the fact that you noticed she might be eating less fruit because of a skipped grocery run is the kind of thing most people wouldn't even connect. You clearly know your kid. That counts for a lot.